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In 2012… Are We (NOT) There Yet? 

 I’m not sure which came first the chicken or the egg? This question is also relevant when asking, which came first the desire to whip or the need to be whipped? One thing that I know for sure is that the fantasies that inspire and get played out in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy have definitely been a part of the female conscious long before pen was put to paper in this series of books written by author E.L. James. My thought is that although motivated by a self-professed “mid-life crisis”, she simply had the balls to say it. What I find shocking however, is America’s shock and overindulgence over what has been written, and the subsequent conversations that have filled up airtime on most major networks and news media. It’s 2012 people are we NOT there yet? 

In the age of reality or better yet “scripted” reality television, I’d just assumed that there was little shock and awe left in the United States of Smutmerica.  I love our country but I felt like we were traveling fast on a train headed for “I’ve seen it all and nothing shocks me anymore”. I guess I can say that I’m happy to see that some people still hide behind these foggy doors of innocence to where they can still safely say, “I have virgin ears get that porn away from me”.

 But come on people do a search for Fifty Shades of Grey and it’s like a great awakening of the American libido has taken place and all of America’s “horny housewives” have been catapulted from nowhere into a world of sexual discovery and exploitation, oops did I say exploitation I meant exploration 😉

Horny Media Mention:

There of course are too many to mention here on this blog, but take my word for it. If there is a media presence out there this book and it’s author are like raw meat to a hungry ass lion okay. People can’t and won’t stop talking about it.

Honorable Web Mentions: 

There are almost countless mentions of this book on the web. Just in an arbitrary google search alone for Fifty Shades of Grey it yielded 81,300,000 results as of .19 seconds at the time I did the search and let’s just add plus 1 more after I publish this post. So I ask “what in the hell is everyone all hot and bothered for”? 

My Own Smutty Exploration:

Like most teenagers I of course went through my own phase of being crazy over sex exploration and the mysteries behind it  and also the joy that seem to leave a gaze in the eyes of every adult who’d ever happened to mention it. More importantly followed up by the fear that would be left in your Mother’s after she realized what was always on your mind.    

Now we all know the mission that would be on the mind of our Parents and that would ultimately be to save our souls by any means necessary, and that was to keep us with having;

    That’s right folks, the mission of our parents was to save our soul, their mission was for us to have No Sex until we became “responsible adults”.

But once the gates were open what we came to realize is that there really are no responsible adults. What we just all become are hopefully “law-abiding” (sometimes), sexually repressed and pinned up adults who keep fighting and clawing our way towards freedom; until ultimately we find out that we are all out here basically having most of the same experiences, of loveless, often sexless marriages, or loveless, often sexless dating lives that leave us starved to discover what it is we really, really want from one another. Then we realize hey, that the Mom that used to fight so hard to restrain our libido reads “Mommy Porn”, what the hell!!!!

That’s right the woman who is your Mother had those same urges of women today, it’s just then women didn’t talk about them.I think all that is happening today is that women are in some ways facing a liberation of sorts, another sexual liberation if you will. One would think that with all the TV shows that gave way to seeing women have sex on-screen that it would certainly be no big whoop to read about one with an itch to be slapped and tickled with a flogger once in a while.

weapon of choice

But I think we’ve crossed the “tipping point” on sexual repression.

As we women find our roles constantly shifting, with this new damn financial market, and far greater academic opportunities, women find that the world is their oyster. Women’s lib. from a long time ago allowed for career and education discovery. It allowed women to participate in the “dual roles”, Please Allow me an Aside (which let’s just be honest most of the time if you’re a woman and you’re a working Mom there is only the dual role, because our male counterparts have yet to find themselves with the capacity to balance both full career participation and full family focus, but whatever at least I’ll thank NBC’s “Up All Night” for leading the pack with exploring the role of a stay at home Dad). In making my point, what we are now seeing is a bridging of the gap on the next to last frontier toward Women becoming the “new” Man? (but God knows I’m one who wants Men to stay Men and Women to be Women there’s beauty in both roles), but sex is the next to last frontier, the final being $$$$ Dollar bills y’all, income equality.  

Now being that this is a story about a woman submitting to the will of a man, you might think that my argument doesn’t make sense. That if over time women are proving themselves equal to men, how then does this book support that narrative? Well I believe that just in the sheer volume of female support of the book and the beginning marketing for the books was word of mouth, women are saying multiple things by getting behind this erotic fiction or “Mommy Porn”. What they are saying and often screaming is:

A. I have a need desperate need to be mentally stimulated by reading smut, but it’s my choice so I’m reading it. I find it so titillating that after I read it I need to roll over and have my way with you. Otherwise I’d have to spend a lifetime hoping that one day my unimaginative, boyfriend/husband will just happen upon the idea that he needs to step up and take full control in the bedroom, until then I’m forced to initiate.

B. “I’m so sick of having to be the leader in every other area of my life that I am dying to mimic what’s on these pages and I am looking for someone to take charge and dominate me for a refreshing change.”


C. It could always be possible that maybe there are women out there like myself who simply embrace the right to choose whatever sexual experience you wish to have, be it one in submission or dominance of yourself or another person. Ultimately I believe that freedom to be “free to me” is the most powerful sexual experience out there 😉

  I think as long as you are empowered while doing it, and as long as you’re getting it, who in the hell should be complaining?

  • To close this I just want to say that America needs to get a collective grip. Put and end to all of this sexually repressed behavior that causes us to act like children with no home training so when the first sign of titillating erotica hits bookshelves we don’t just fall into complete sexual overdrive… I mean good…ness the way we’re acting you would swear that we never got any ever.
  • Come to grips with finally embracing the fact that men need it, women need to stay happy and healthy (and sometimes we like it rough)
  • Yes sometimes we women get off on having a man be in control, vice versa
  • No E.L. James has not broken new ground (In fact the first book that I ever read on the subject was a little gem called Bondage oh so eloquently written by none other than the daughter of our 40th President Ronald Reagan. His daughter Patti Davis 😉 That was a page turner let me tell you. This can also be said about Twilight and author Stephanie Myers’ ability to passionately retell Romeo and Juliet in an insightful and relevant way that relates to the modern-day teen and a sucker for a good romantic plot, Mom (yes I admit it I love Twilight).

So later I will issue a poll asking you who you would choose as the main characters for the movie, of course there are already rumors on who most people like but I believe that some of the top picks could water down the purpose you feel me? 

Ian Somerhalder 

  I believe he would be a brilliant choice as Christian Grey

K.Stew- See not so much, come on you’ve already scored a hot ass guy from a hot ass movie trilogy don’t be greedy 🙂 plus you’re too hard-core so next! 

Okay guys thanks for rolling with me on this one…I’ll be back I’m just getting started…Hey I guess sex makes for a juicy topic after-all, where have I been oh right I’ve been tied up!

til tomorrow ~M.K.